Dear Peyton,

Dear Peyton,
I feel like I say it all the time, but time is flying by. How can you be turning 2 tomorrow?? I re-read the other letters I have written to you on the night before your birthdays, and I can't believe how fast time is going! This year has been difficult for us. There has been grief and sadness, but there has been so much to be thankful for too. You are such an amazing toddler. I know most Mom's brag on their kids, but you truly are exceptional. You have such a caring heart and I can't tell you how many people have commented on how loving you are and that a smile and a hug from you can change their day.
You are definitely a Mommy's girl and I love it. I love the time we spend snuggled in bed watching Mickey or Elmo on the iPad  or reading a book. You talk all the time and right now are a little recorder to everything you hear. I  have had to start watching my language around you, because anything I say is bound to come out of your mouth. Your teachers say that you have a very advanced vocabulary and are starting to use full sentences. And I can't even describe the joy of hearing you come around the corner asking, "What's Happening?" in a very Asian accent. :)
 You are so smart and know many of your colors, we are working on counting to 10, you know all family members by name and are starting to be able to carry a conversation on the phone. We call Nana, Aunt Jilly, and Aunt Chrissy (Criggy) constantly so you can talk.
You don't have one favorite animal or book right now, as your favorite pretty much changes daily.
For the last 2 weeks I have told you that your birthday is coming up and if I ask you how old you will be you will proudly answer TWO! But last week I told you that it would also be my birthday soon and now if I ask you how old you will be on your birthday, there is a chance that you will say "P 29 and Mommy 2!" and smile like you know you are making a joke.
You bring so much joy and laughter to my life, I am so proud to be your Mom! This next year will bring many changes, but we are an unbreakable team and I can't wait to experience this adventure together.
I love you to the moon and back!
Love,
Mommy

I have been dreading this post, I actually have several posts lined up and ready to hit publish, but I just can't go forward until I address what is happening in our lives right now. It pains my heart to type the next sentence.

Ethan and I are getting a divorce. 

There I said it... the ugly D-word. This is nothing that was ever part of the plan, it was never something I even thought was a possibility, but such is life and this is my reality.
I started this blog to document the life of Peyton and our family. I debated whether or not to address this is such a forum, but this is our life and just another aspect that should be documented for Peyton. I want one day for her to be able to read the books that this blog has become and know that she was conceived into a happy, loving marriage by two people who love her tremendously. And that even if her family is changing she is still completely surrounded by people who love her and will always be there for her.
I would love to be able to fix what has been broken and find a way to be the family of 3, I so desperately dream of, but this is just not the case. I never signed up to be a single parent, but I will do everything in my power to be everything Peyton ever needs. I will rise from this a better parent, because she makes me better everyday. I think becoming a parent changes you completely, you learn the definition of selflessness. Because no matter how hurt I am, I would do anything to keep my sweet girl from feeling an ounce of sadness.

I don't even know where or how to begin the next chapter of my life. I feel powerless to the changes as they come. But this will not be the act that defines my life, I will pull myself back together by any means that I can and try to proceed with a grace that I have always striven for.

For now, you just keep going, you smile when you feel tears start to fall, you call Jill at all hours of the day to remind you just how strong you are, you laugh with friends at work when you don't think you ever will again, you lean on family when you not sure you remember how to stand, and you allow your heart to heal with the 4 best words I've ever heard, "Mommy, I love you."

Pudding!

I let Peyton eat a Kid Cuisine and watch Mickey Mouse, while I was in the kitchen finishing dinner for me and Ethan. She LOVED it, especially the pudding! When I actually saw what she was doing, she was rubbing pudding on her face saying, "Soft!" Apparently chocolate pudding can be very moisturizing... Being the Mother that I am, I ran, got my camera, and continued to let her have fun, until Daddy got home so he could give her a bath. I love this kid!!! 

A New Do!

I have been dreading getting Peyton's hair cut. Not because I thought she would not sit during it or out of denial that my baby is growing up, but because it has taken 21 months to grow the little amount she has now.

All of the other little girls in her class have long, shoulder-length hair and my sweet pea barely has a pixie cut.

But the ends were starting to look a bit ratty and I didn't want anyone to confuse her with a Rag-A-Muffin, so it was time. Nini (Peyton's new name for Gramsy) and Papaw accompanied our first of many trips to Sweet and Sassy and she with the help of a lollipop, she was perfect! 

A little unsure...

A lollipop and everything is better

Showing off her haircut on the runway.

Realizing she can see herself on the tv...My little Diva!!!

Take Me Out to the Ball Game

My good friend Maria got some Astros tickets and we decided it would be a fun Saturday, even though the Astros have had a questionable season, the game was a blast and P was AMAZED by the train at Minute Maid.

Uncle Aaron was having fun at the kids corner with P.

Awesome Seats!!

Daddy trying to get a smile!

Pink Lady

I love Peyton's daycare/school! They are always having fun events for the kids and knowing that Peyton is surrounded by amazing teachers who love and care for her makes it so much easier to be a Working Mom. Last week they had a Sock Hop for all the kids to celebrate the end of summer. Of course, P had to participate. I sewed her a poodle skirt and although she was not very cooperative with the camera, she was adorable.

A Kinda Smile

"Peyton, Look at Mommy, PLEASE SMILE!"...NOTHING!!!

Magic Trick

Last night I showed Peyton the "I've got your nose" magic trick...needless to say, she wasn't impressed.

As soon as the picture was taken, I quickly returned her nose without incident.

Goodbye, Grandma Ruby

On Tuesday, July 24, 2012 my Grandma Ruby passed away after a long struggle with Congestive Heart Failure. She was a fighter and fought until her last breath. Her funeral service was beautiful and I could feel her smiling down at us, loving the colors Jill and I picked out.

Way Behind!

Ok, ok...I am way behind! But I WILL catch up!!!!


July 4th we spent with Gramsy and Papaw and all the Roberts Gang, the 3rd was Papaw's birthday so we celebrated that as well. Papaw even decided to jump in the water with Peyton.

She is pretty much too cool! The problem is...she knows it too! 

We had a visit from my Grandpa Ken, who we had not seen in a long time. It was so nice to see him and visit and for him to get to meet our families. He brought Avery and Peyton these little hard top suitcases. Peyton got a Penguin and pretty much thought it was the best gift ever.
She was very mad that I wouldn't let her sleep with it that night.

Father's Day 2012

For the morning of Father's Day, Peyton and I woke up extra early and made breakfast for my Dad and Ethan. We had a breakfast brunch last year and it was a nice way to celebrate with my Dad and Ethan too, so we continued the tradition.

Ethan decided for Father's Day he wanted a simple day and to watch the Master's. I figured we could give him that, so it was a nice day with the family at home.

At her school, Peyton had made Ethan a Message in a bottle, and she was excited that he made such a big deal as he opened it.

I hate that this picture is blurry, but she was so excited.

The bottle she decorated, inside was a certificate for World's Best Dad
 that she had colored and decorated with stickers.

Brady Jennings Ash

We had been anticipating the arrival of Baby Brady for so long, that I am pretty sure that Jill was tired of everyone asking her when he was making his debut. Of course, he would choose to make his arrival the day after a storm had run through Magnolia and Brian and Jill had lost power all night. 

I sent Jill a hopeful text message that morning asking if there were any reason I shouldn't head to work that day. I was shocked that Jill responded that she indeed was having contractions and he would probably be born that day. 

Jill had already agreed that I could stay in the room for his birth. I was beyond excited. Since I had a C-Section with Peyton, and I will have another for any future babies, I really wanted to witness a birth. 

And what can I say about it, it is so hard to put into words what an incredible experience it was. Jill was amazing, she labored for several hours and then got her epidural and we waited. In full hair and makeup, complete with her pearls, Jill was ready. 

Once Dr. Richter got there she asked where I wanted to be, I told her I wanted to see the whole thing, so she let me stand by Jill's feet. With Brian at her side, and my Mom and Tillie anxiously awaiting on the couch, Jill pushed.  In between pushes, Dr. Richter had to joke about Jill being made to have babies because after 1 push we could already see a head full of dark hair. At the second push, Brady made his appearance. I can not put into words what it was like to see him enter the world. He definitely had an opinion, because he was crying loud for the world to hear. Jill was amazing. The whole experience was such an honor for me, and meant a lot. I have looked up to Jill my whole life, and I know that it was outside her comfort zone to have people in the room with her. Jill spends a lot of time taking care of people, she has made a career out of it, so she doesn't like for people to see her in pain, she never has. So I know what it meant to share this experience with others. I am so honored to have witnessed it, and I think it brought us even closer together, if that was even possible. 

Brady Jennings Ash
Born 6/13/2012, weighing 6 lbs 13 oz at 4:04 pm

Meeting his proud Big Sister Avery

First Family Picture

We're Back!

June was a whirlwind and I completely got behind on my blogging! But not to worry, I am BACK!

In June, Peyton and I attended Natalie's wedding, Ethan couldn't come because he had a baseball tournament, so Peyton and I traveled alone to Surfside to celebrate Natalie and Shawn.

P fell in love with the Andy and JB, I think we have a heartbreaker.

Aunt Sam just wanted a picture.

How is this the only picture I got with the beautiful Bride!

 Doing it all!!
Bride & Mommy!

I am so happy for Natalie and the family she has made. We have been through so much over the years and I am so glad she is exactly where she is supposed to be. I am excited that they are moving to Tomball and Peyton and Austin can begin their romance! :)

Congrats Wood Family! 

Memorial Day Weekend in Oklahoma

We headed up to Oklahoma this past weekend to visit Ethan's grandparents who hadn't seen Peyton since last October and had yet to meet Baby Jackson. It was a quick relaxing trip and after going through my pictures, I am not quite sure how they were not included in the pictures. I guess we were too busy chasing a little girl around all weekend.

Uncle Aaron showing P how to use Jackson's gym

A little fun in the sun

Peyton is realizing she can pretty much get
Uncle Aaron to do anything she wants!

Riding the Pastures

Peyton loved Meghan and Macy

Eskimo Kisses for Papaw

She also got a tap dancing lesson from Meghan's friend Macy!